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5 Truths of an Authentic Relationship

personal development Oct 24, 2016

Everyone reaches a point in their marriage or committed relationship where the honeymoon stage becomes a distant memory.  Wouldn’t it be nice if we could stay in that puppy love every day?  Instead, one of three things can happen:

  1. Your partner becomes your best friend and the love blossoms into something even more meaningful.
  2. Your partner becomes your worst enemy and you are trying to change one another.
  3. Your partner becomes your roommate because there is no connection.

You may find your relationship bouncing between all 3 scenarios.

To start, I would like to dispel the myth that relationships should make you happy.   Connecting to your spirit and living fully with peace, love, and joy allows your true essence of happiness to shine through.  Relationships bring to you the soul work required to become your best self.   When you decide on a relationship, you have committed yourself to that person, all the life lessons they carry, and all the life lessons they will point out in you.

  1. Relationships are not meant to make you happy, they are meant to make you better.

If you are already happy with yourself, then the relationship should add to that happiness.  If you have chosen someone who does not match where you are energetically, it will likely be a constant struggle and they will bring out the worst in you.  However, this is a soul journey, which means if you are in a relationship right now, that person is your soul mate.  That doesn’t mean you will have everything in common and be on cloud 9 every day.  Why are you attracted to this person on a soul level?  Likely because something in them will help you heal something within you and vice versa.  If there is something your mate is doing that bothers you, either it is a deal-breaker or it is a signal that there is something within you, them, or both that requires adjustment.

  1. Before a relationship can be fulfilling, you have to feel fulfilled by yourself.

If you are constantly looking for something outside of yourself to be happy and fulfilled, you will never be happy in a relationship. You have to be content with yourself, by yourself, before you can attract someone who is most compatible with you.  It is important also to realize in the Law of Attraction, that you don’t attract what you want in life, you attract what you ARE.  Challenge yourself to become the best person that you can be. Work through your past, dump the emotional baggage, show up to do the soul work, and you will attract a person who is also working to be their best self.  If you are already in a relationship, watch as it changes for the better when you devote yourself to self-improvement and self-love.

  1. Authentic relationships focus on the good, daily.

You will never improve your relationship by constantly nit picking the other person, creating ultimatums, and making a mental, or at worst, verbal list of everything they have ever done to disappoint you.  Turn this around!  Ask your partner to write a list of 10 things they love about you.  You do the same.  Tape these up on your mirror so you will read them every morning and evening.  Consciously focusing on the good will make your relationship improve. Why?  Because what you focus on will grow.  Find ways to compliment and encourage your partner daily.  Build each other up.  Say and show “I love you.”

  1. Find a source of connection and connect to it daily.

For some people, this is prayer.  In this case, start and end your day together with a prayer in addition to your personal prayer or meditation practice.  Include God as the source of your love and as the mediator for working out your problems. To further compliment that and connect to each other on a soul level, you could try sitting on the floor, facing one another, holding hands, and looking into one another’s eyes for at least 4 minutes. The saying goes “eyes are the windows to the soul.”  At the very least, gaze into one another’s eyes a few minutes every morning before kissing goodbye on your way out the door.  Cuddling while breathing in synch and talking about what you love and appreciate about one another can also stimulate a stronger connection.  What about laughter?  Laughter brings couples together.  Find ways to see the lighter side of life, and let’s not forget about physical intimacy!

  1. Find one another’s language of love.

People give and receive love in different ways.  Find out how your partner prefers to receive love.  Sometimes doing the dishes goes further than buying flowers.  For a man, he may thrive on a woman being upbeat and joyful rather than nagging and complaining.  Pay attention to the energy you bring in these acts of love and be grateful in them.

At the end of the day, you have signed up for this soul journey.  When you do the soul work, your love can blossom into something deeper.  After all, don’t we all want to have a best friend, soulmate?  This is where the joy begins!


Christine Gail is an Author of the upcoming book Unleash Your Rising, an Unleash Your Rising Entrepreneur Coach, Success Coach, licensed Becoming a Best-Selling Author publishing, book marketing, branding coach and owner of and the Unleash Your Rising Facebook page.

Christine lives in San Diego with her soulmate husband of 12 years, Dr. Chris Hengesteg, D.C., 2 soulful daughters and their dog Chewy.


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